tvmovie20in20

Hope is a powerful thing and I am trying to have it.

It's been a long day. Jasper's appointment was today.

They were quite nice. We had a chat. They performed a test on his abdomen because they agreed that before we focus on the hyperthyroidism we need to solve why he isn't eating.

They didn't see anything on the X-ray taken last week of concern, possibly a bit of inflammation but no sign of tumors, however they sent it to their radiology appointment to verify what they saw. So in the next two days we'll find out if there is a very small tumor. But they don't think that's likely.

They took an ultrasound of his belly. No tumors, masses, other bad things. Some inflammation to be aware of once we get him eating. They said he should eat different proteins.

They suggested either in hospital or out of hospital care but we couldn't afford two days hospitalization, testing, monitoring his kidneys and heart along with a feeding tube as that was more than the 5k we have to spend on our Bean. And it would prevent the dental surgery.

So we talked some more and we were told if he didn't eat in 18 hours with the anti nausea, antibiotics (they found sores on his little tongue), appetite stimulant and pain medicine it would be time to let him go.

But! We got home and he demolished about 100 calories from several sources of cat food not half and half (cream/milk blend). Which is half of what he should eat daily for weight gain.

So in the morning, I'll contact the dentist to reschedule his surgery hopefully very soon as he has ulcers now alongside his cavity/gum issues.

I'll also contact a few places to do subq fluids as the big hospital was not able to due to Bean deciding he was absolutely done. After cooperating with them for hours.

He's home. He's eating. I want to believe that we can make it through this.

He's quit eating all together. If he doesn't eat anything by tomorrow we'll cancel Tuesday's appointment and we'll make arrangements for our vet to send him to sleep on Monday.

He's still drinking but he doesn't have the energy anymore of a cat that is still interested in food. We've tried so many things.

But I must accept that it's over.

Above are two of my favorite pictures of my gorgeous silver boy.

It's been a series of horrible days in a row.

So Jasper was not eating much but then he began turning his head sharply to the side and refusing all types of food. We found a straight puree "mousse" that he would eat and made a vet appointment.

On Wednesday he went to the vet. Got an exam. Got bloodwork. Dental issues. We made an appointment with a specialist for May but wondered if he'd make it to then as he is all bones and no body fat now. He was 10 pounds when he was healthy and he's 7 pounds now.

On Friday, while the plumbers were doing some unexpected work on our toilet. Apparently a Brazilian pepper plant, an invasive plant, decided to grow in our pipes. The vet called.

Jasper has hyperthyroidism. We made an appointment at the big vet hospital. Not the one that Miso died at two years ago but the one our Joey cat died in ten years ago and the one where we learned that Ariel was dying. Not a place I would like to return to but their care is top notch. For him to get the Iodine treatment. It's a radioactive treatment we wouldn't see Jasper for two weeks while they did it in June but it would fix the problem.

He didn't eat much on the weekend so we made a phone call to the vet and a phone call to a new closer vet who agreed to see him on Monday for dental work.

On Monday, they found a stage 2 or 3 heart murmur but were not able to get all the xrays because my son is kind of an asshole.

He was scheduled for surgery yesterday. Before surgery while he was sedated and not growling hissing and biting they did the scheduled test xrays.

They found a mass in his lungs. No surgery due to the risk if it is inflammation of the heart and lungs.

We have an appointment on the Seventh to above big vet hospital who will do the exam on the mass to determine if it's cancer in both thyroid and lungs. Like the one removed last year. If it is it's the end.

My heart hurts so much. I can't bring myself to hope that it isn't over.

My boy. My jasper.